To advise others about various choices in our lives and to choose their options wisely on any matter of importance to them is very easy. Each of us is guilty of offering such advice to our friends, relatives and others every now and then, whether they are seeking such advice from us or not.
Why do we find this tendency in many of us? Why do we jump to offer advice to others at the drop of a hat?
The answer is simple – it is very easy to advice others, but when it comes to our own situations to choose our options wisely, we find it far more difficult to carry out such advice ourselves.
Life presents many challenges. At such times it becomes essential to take some vital decisions and taking decisions involves selecting a suitable option from the available set of such options.
Many of us find it difficult to take decisions at different times, since taking decisions many times involves our emotions deeply and during such times we cannot think rationally or objectively with the result that we fail to arrive at a proper solution.
In some situations we can take decisions quickly. At many other times we can take decisions with some deep thinking taking several hours or days or even weeks as the case may be.
But at certain other times taking a decision becomes a very difficult task indeed.
Such situations may be related to our career choices or choosing our life partner or buying some costly real estate property and so on.
The career choice may mean quitting the present job and seeking a new job. At such times some of our well wishers may advise us to consider doing some business instead of going for another job, since according to them we have sufficient knowledge in our subject and many years of working experience. They would try to convince us that this is what is essential to achieve success in business.
They may try to boost our confidence further by saying that life is short and one has to take some risks at some stage or the other. They may point out that since we are approaching middle age it will be difficult to think about doing business at a later age and hence it is essential to plunge now itself and so on.
What should we do at such times? We have examples of two extreme cases.
At one end we may recollect the phrase “to be, or not to be” from William Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, where we see how he suffers from indecisiveness.
At the other end, we have what is known on Hobson’s choice, where some others may dictate terms to us when we seek their advice or some help from them. In such cases we either have to accept whatever help they may offer us as it is or forget it, since we have no other choice in the matter.
The correct course is that we should take the middle path and start developing our ability to take decisions at the appropriate times ourselves since that is vital. It may not be easy in the beginning.
We should practice the habit of taking decisions on matters of minor importance after going through the pros and cons systematically in an objective way without bringing our emotions into play very quickly. We should take care to think through all the options patiently in even such minor issues since that will enable us to gain valuable experience in our ability to come to a decision at the shortest possible time.
Then we can apply the same logic for other issues, which are more difficult to decide or which may take more time to work out the various favorable and unfavorable points. Since practice makes us perfect, we should be able to develop the ability to choose our options wisely at vital moments of our life.
But at such other times when we are unable to go through the pros and cons objectively or systematically due to anxiety or fear or lack of confidence or whatever other reason, we should approach our close relatives or friends in whom we have complete confidence and seek their advice for solving the problem at hand.
But once they offer their suggestions, we should again work out the same from our situation and try to come to a proper decision. After all they might have given us some other insight into our problems, which we may have not thought about and hence we can take that as the starting point. From there we can apply our own logic to go through the pros and cons as we have been practicing.
The ability to take decisions in matters of importance to us is vital and we should constantly practice it all times.