At age five I was an airport addict – I loved going to work with Dad! As the chief pilot for a private company, it meant that on any given day I could be flight attendant to the corporate executives who flew all over the United States or I could run to my heart’s desire up and down the runways. There was a whole fleet of King Airs, a DC-3, and other planes.
Dad never thought I was too little to do anything, so by the time I reached age 5 I was flying in the co-pilot’s seat, right alongside him. As I grew older, my dad taught me many more things, and because his philosophy was that I was never “too little” his parenting style gave me great confidence to spread my wings and fly… painting, drawing, reading, and writing my first book at age 11, in addition to flying.
There has always been a direct link between my relationship with my earth dad and my Heavenly Dad. Ages 5-11 were filled with adventure, outdoor hikes, skating, Girl Scouts, camping, swimming, drawing, writing, reading, music, learning to talk to God directly, and the kind of childhood that most people would call ideal.
Then it all changed. At age 12, I arrived home from school, report card in hand. To this day I can remember the exact place my Dad and I stood, at the end of the kitchen counter, as he explained to me that he and I would no longer be talking or doing things together, and that my report card was to be kept secret from the family. He felt my brothers and sister were having too much of a challenge to keep up with me and that it would be better if he spent more time with them and less with me. He wasn’t being mean – he just felt he was being fair to my younger siblings who he said would feel more empowered if they didn’t have to try and keep up with my example.
Dad kept his word, and from that day onward I was all but ignored. A poisonous root of rejection wormed its way deep into the center of my soul, eventually blossoming in the form of self-everything. Self-hatred, self-consciousness, self-centeredness, and very low self-esteem.
At the same time, I lost almost all connection with my Heavenly Father and prayer once again became hollow, shallow, and boring. Preoccupation with self (trying to figure out what was wrong with me) turned into performance anxiety and eventually workaholism, replacing the joy of creativity and childlike wonder and awe. I withdrew almost entirely from life.
Have you noticed a child who has lost their sense of wonder, joy, and creativity? Maybe a child who is shy or always trying to be good? They are like planes flying very low (low self-esteem) and it’s actually quite dangerous! Low self-esteem is nothing to be fooled around with!
Nicely behaving, shy children are often overlooked. But when God restores you, he more than makes up for all that was lost!
What we believe about ourselves begins to manifest all around us, and if the core of our being is something we hate, then our self-talk becomes a continuous string of “You’ll never be good enough,” “You’re ugly,” and you can probably name just about anything negative and I believed it. The law of attraction kicks in and pretty soon you become a victim of more rejection and often much worse. It’s like you wear a blinking neon sign that says, “hurt me” and it just never goes away!
How many times have I heard my story repeated in so many people’s lives, in one variation or another! In those days, though, no one was talking about these things, so it’s like a whole generation suffered in silence! So once again, I had to go directly to my Father in Heaven and because we were so disconnected at that time, all I could do was admit my life was all about “me this and me that” and ask for deliverance from ME!
A daughter’s request never goes unheard in the Kingdom of Heaven. But sometimes the problem with receiving an answer is on our end… because if your mind is buzzing all day long with negative thought patterns it’s no wonder it causes static! So God had to wait until his daughter fell asleep to get a word in edge-wise!
I was to discover the power of a voice-controlled life!
One night I wore a red shirt to bed… and I sensed in my heart that God was telling me to remember that I was wearing a red shirt. I didn’t understand why but just marked it in my mind and went to bed and dreamed…
Dream Message: Playing with a group of children, we were all taking turns shooting a high-powered rifle. Everyone was laughing and innocently playing. It was my turn to shoot the gun and as my finger pulled the trigger a girl dressed in a red shirt fell to the ground. None of us expected anything bad to happen. No one blamed me – we each had been taking turns doing the very same thing. The horror I felt was unimaginable… so real, so deep and painful that I woke up, as if from a nightmare. But it wasn’t a nightmare… it was a dream message.
As it often is in dreams, I was both characters… the girl in the red shirt who fell down dead and the girl who innocently fired the weapon while playing. My own belief system – all the “You’re ugly, you’ll never be good enough, no one will ever marry you…” was killing the real me.
Words are like bullets, aimed to bring life or death. Our lives are voice-controlled and whatever we speak is what we get.
Our tongues pull the trigger on words that are generated from our hearts, our belief system. Words release power – to change, to heal, to hurt, to bring life.
What if we were all to look around and discover that the circumstances surrounding us were a direct result of our beliefs which lead to thoughts which lead to words which lead to actions which lead to results… whether for good or for evil.
In the book of Genesis we find that God spoke the world into existence with His breath, and when it came time to bring life to the first man, Adam, God breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, imparting His very own image – His DNA – into Adam. Adam woke up and began talking… he named all the animals and he learned how to manage the world around him through language. He didn’t have to work hard (not till after Deception entered his heart, causing him to sin – then, of course, part of his punishment was having to work by the sweat of his brow)… but until then, he ran the world through voice control!
He had an idea, a thought… and suddenly or progressively the thought manifested into his reality! In the cool of the evenings, Adam and God walked and talked… Adam was never left alone to figure things out by himself. Since the Cross this intimacy with God has been restored to each of us who take the time and find the “Garden” in our hearts to listen and learn, through intimacy with God!
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.(Prov. 18:21 ESV)
I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, (Matt 12:36 ESV)
Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. (Prov. 16:24 ESV)
For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Matt 12:37 ESV)
A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. (Prov 15:4 ESV)
Do you need a lift today? Low self-esteem is equivalent to flying an airplane at low altitude… you’re in constant danger of trees, power lines, near misses and crashes… you need to gain altitude, to fly higher! It’s not hard – you can learn to use voice control… maybe even do some aerial gymnastics!
Flying higher begins with discovering the true nature and identity of our Father in Heaven. Because we are simply smaller pieces of Him. And if we know Him, then we know true selves.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
What you speak is what you get…. as we learn to speak God’s Word more into our lives, we bring Heaven to Earth! It erases all the negative self-talk as well as the words others have spoken into and over our lives.